She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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