I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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