I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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