Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
