ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
