I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just googled if crying burns calories
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
