nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
