The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
