people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
