Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
