rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
