I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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