This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
