I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
