it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
