Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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