Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
