I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
