dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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