so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You were trust falling into bushes
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
