Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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