I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
