I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
