a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I forgot wine drunk hurts
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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