that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
