i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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