maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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