I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
