every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
