Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
