i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
