I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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