Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
