Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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