this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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