She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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