I have demons in me.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
