I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
