You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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