My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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