His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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