when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
