If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
