I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
