We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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