I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
