I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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