just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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