If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
