did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
